Growing Up

When you move a kid around a lot, often enough he will reach this conclusion. Making attachments are the same as making complications. Nothing good can come of it so why bother in the first place. If the child is smart (and most certainly are) he will also realize that some relationships are necessary to get ahead in life. So he learns to observe and to listen. Most people are simple, give them what they want and you keep them happy.

Relationships in his mind, are an equation. All the child has to do is figure out the role that will fit the equation and play it till such time he has to move again. When this happens, all previous relationships are promptly forgotten. Deleted to make way for new equations and new people.

Life however, is not so simple. Eventually, and with the grace of God the child will encounter relationships that defy what he has spent a lifetime learning. Relationships that are based on the essences of love, and acceptance, and purity, none of which he understands.So he tests them, again and again, often to the breaking point and beyond. Desperately trying to cling to his belief that he was superior in his selfish knowledge. That he was right all along and everyone leaves in the end so best brace for it early on.

What the child (though in age he might not be one anymore) fails to understand is that the relationships that truly matter aren't made in any mold, it does not have a discernible shape, no outcome that can be calculated. There is no win or lose. There are only lessons that the child must learn if he is to become a man.

Weird Happenings

There are times you'll be victorious, there are times you're gonna lose, there's times you barely pull through. That's life. That's pretty much accepted. There will be also times when you will stand in awe of Allah's (or whatever you may wish to describe Him) greatness. Unfortunately, there will also be sights that mess you up.

Whatever category of the story I will tell you falls, I will let you figure out yourself. I still haven't.

It all started like this.

What Are The Odds?

Sam (author's brother)and I had to go to a mutual friend's place to pick up some stuff. And before anyone gets excited it was just some bags back from when Sam used to live there. I was driving us both back when I took the wrong lane and ended up having to turn left when I should have just went straight. Strange thing was, the traffic light for straight ahead went green just as I was turning left. A few seconds earlier and none of this would have happened. In any case, left was the longer route.

Finally, we get to the PLUS tollbooth and Sam pulls out his "Touch n' Go" which was great cos traffic was pretty backed-up at the cash lanes. So we get in behind a red taxi, second in line with three cares behind me and... the taxi driver's card wouldn't work. At first he couldn't understand what was wrong, then he tried pressing the intercom and screaming at it, the he started to toot his horn (the taxi driver's not the intercom's). to which I added some support as well. Still nothing.

So finally I rolled my window down and offered my card, it still had plenty of balance and I just wanted to get home cos I had something important to do.

Little known fact. "Touch n' Go" cards don't work on the same booth twice in a row. I was now the idiot with the defective card, holding up traffic. At first I didn't understand what was wrong. Then I pressed the intercom button and started hollering into it followed by your garden variety of toots and horns. Still nothing.

We finally backed up enough for the next car to go on ahead and went through after him. Card worked just fine the second time around and we finally got home.

Was it providence or just plain dumb luck? Is it an answer to my some of my questions and will it lead to further questions? Honestly, I have no idea. I suppose it could also be a lesson to remind me that life should be view as more than just a series of random events and that there is purpose. You just don't know it till you've lived it. It could also be me getting way too serious way too late at night.

Later.

Some Guy’s Story Part 1

Pain is a lesson that can be taught. At least that was the way he grew up believing. The more you learned to take, the more you learned to dish out. And he had a capacity for that life lesson that was close to voracious. A role he was made to play. Fifteen years old, a chip on his shoulder the size of Perak, and a world that only made him angry every single day.

Then again, I do suppose you could blame it on the times. Back then, there were guys who went to town for the sole reason of picking fights. It became such a ritual that people started to come and watch. Now that was entertainment. Nowadays, all a guy can get from a trip to town is sitting down in a place with a projector TV showing twenty-two guys running after a ball. The place, naturally, is often named after somebody’s uncle or brother.

“Getting off track, Get back! Ok. OK. Ok.”

One day, he was watching one of those fights when he caught himself wondering if he could kick the big guy in the middle’s butt. He decided “Malaysia Boleh!” and went in.
The good news, big guy went down pretty fast. The bad news, the rest of the dozen or so guys who were fighting, stopped suddenly and stated getting pissed at him. A dozen or so guys against one is not a pretty sight. But the deed was done. A star had been born.

Till I figure out the rest of it…. End of Part 1.

The Good Thing Bout Horror Movies Part 1

You know the good thing bout horror movies? It brings out the person you really are. It doesn’t matter how brave you are, or how much you’re as tough as you think you are. A truly good horror movie, watched alone, under the dim-sum that is dawn, will chill the sanest of us all. After all, the opposite of horror is hope.

Anyways, I was watchin one of those really trashy horror movies on TV the other day and the emotions it brought forth in me reached a different and, if you don’t mind me sayin, rather disturbin levels to me.

It all started....

"Wait! Can’t say that, didn’t watch d stupid starting. Wait... Think. Think.. Think...ok.... Ok...ok"

At the middle of it all the scene is grim. The cast; a woman, nine months and some change pregnant; her husband with a chest wound; a slightly inappropriately dressed coed, slightly soiled... sophomore. (What? I checked her out, any man would. Sorry Love) A black man, whom btw, has lost his left arm and is basically bleedin to death

(Racist Alert: Level 1. Does it always have to the black guy? It’s always fat or black with these guys. Right now, in MyimaginaryLand a bunch of myimaginary producers are replying to myimaginary query and they’re replyin "But we let a bunch a white people die before him" and "Damn! How can u always tell?" Answer: Duh)

;and a middle-aged man who happened to be drivin a RV in where every day is 'No-RV Day’.

The plot is pretty basic. Everyone is runnin from bikers from hell, or Hellbikers, I think they called themselves. Later on, they will meet, as later events will prove, a slightly stupid Mexican priest (Racist Alert Lvl 2: Really???? How very original) in a bid to stop the antichrist from being born.

The black guy, understandably, has to die first. ‘Sides, having him go thru another scene where the belt around his amputated arm was being tightened would have been just too cruel. So he is dragged out with hooks comin from the only unlocked RV side-door in the country. They're there for a reason, people. Lock your friggin doors in Hellrider Land, just lock your friggin doors period. Locks save lives.

In any case, ole armless was their last line of defense and the Hellriders are clamberin onboard. Suddenly, the middle-aged RV driver transforms into John Rambo and back chops every demon outta his RV. Who is he, why does he have mad skills with a knife, why is he wearin tennis whites and isnt he the guy who, in another movie, would be luring and butchering nubile young things are all questions that are never raised nor answered.

At the climax, the dyin stupid priest tells our middle aged hero (MAH) that an amulet he has will save the pregnant woman from bringin in the devil child. Funny thing is, a few moments ago the woman’s husband was askin the same question and the only answer stupid priest could come up with was for her to be sacrificed so that "Evil will not be born onto this world!". Go figure.

Anyways, the disturbin episode occurred when, amidst all of the flyin limbs and blood puking, I started to laugh. And when old armless went out those unlocked side doors, screamin and callin for mama I laughed so hard I fell outta my chair. Now that realization, as it often will, made me think that me, and those like me, and we're growin in number, are dangerous people, at least to some. Why? You'll have to wait till my next entry to find out. Heheh...

Reflection or Ranting

A few days ago, as I was enjoying my Sunday evening, a friend of mine, of whom I had not heard from for a sum of years, called suddenly. He had called to inform me, after exchanging the normal pleasantries and hellos, that a mutual friend of ours had passed away the evening before. Now I would very much like to say that his passing had a profound impact on me and that I was greatly saddened by his departure but the truth is that this is not the first time that Death has laid claim on one of my acquaintances nor, I strongly suspect, will it be the last. Indeed, since the age of 16 or so scarcely a year goes by without me receiving news that someone I know is no more. I have no idea whether this is the national norm, or could be attested to the fact that I know many people, or simply because it is plain bad luck to know me. All I know is that whenever this happens, I pause to take a look around me and ask myself a question with three simple words, “Am I happy?” (And no, you idiot, I am not asking myself whether or not I am happy that someone has died!)

This question however, begs another. “What is being happy?” The Buddhists, for instance, insist that true happiness is the act of living in service to all creatures without the need for physical comforts, or in other words, being both spiritually and mentally prosperous. This I am definitely not ready for. On the other hand, there are those for whom being happy is simply making bunches of money and splurging it all on fine food, fine wine (or copious amounts of cheap spirits), and fine women, which in retrospect, I find rather pathetic. Then, there are those who spend their whole lives in the search for recognition and fame, which is totally absurd in my book. I mean, who cares what someone of whom you have no knowledge of thinks of you in some indefinite time during the future. Ridiculous! Wondering about the prices of anchovies in Nigeria would be time better spent.

In the end, I suppose being happy is about leading life the way you would want to. Something much easier said than done. First of all, there are all these rules that we have to contend with. Wear only white socks to school! Eat with only your right hand! (I’m a lefty) Act your age and be mediocre with the rest of us filthy masses! Walk proudly, shoulder up, back straight, right to the edge of the cliff and jump off if everyone else does the same!

Granted, there are some rules that make at least some modicum of sense. Thou shall not kill. Wait a moment, we forgot that one every time somebody drops a bomb on a baby and we turn a blind eye. Thou shall not steal. The newspapers in the lobby are not free… Thou shall not lie. Ladies, what’s your age again?

Then, there are all these expectations. Your parents expect such and such. Your teachers/lecturers expect such and such. Society expects such and such. When was the last time someone asked what YOU expected? But no(oo), you’re the youth so you don’t get to decide how to live your life. If left to you, the whole world would be in jeopardy. For example, you might decide to drop an atomic bomb on somebody’s head. Oops, sorry, we did that already. Leave millions to die of hunger? Nope, we seem to have done that as well. Crash the economy and create widespread panic? Hmm... Aha! Allow alien invaders to conquer us and enslave all of humanity. Yes, if left to you that is exactly what will happen. Believe us, we know better.

Is it just me or has it occurred to anyone else that the whole world is going to hell in a hand-basket using the fast lane? There’s widespread famine, a war going on in someone’s or everyone’s backyard at the same time, and the economic forecast is looking grim. This is of course on top of your everyday, typical, world ending type disasters such as the thinning ozone layer and rising sea levels but hey, look at the bright side, soon you’ll be able to take a swim AND get a suntan at the same time just by stepping outside your house. Isn’t life just grand?

Then again, let’s not look at the rest of the world. We’ll just concentrate on home sweet home. After all, everything that I have just said just happens on TV and to other people anyway, so why bother? I mean, it’s not like those who are graduating at the end of this semester won’t be getting cushy jobs and live the rest of their lives in total bliss, right? Guess again, with the economy being what it is, chances are that you won’t be getting a job real soon unless you’re either connected or some kind of whiz kid.

Our leaders, you ask? Boy, don’t get me started on our leaders. Okay fine, you got me started. I don’t know about you, but seeing as the main factor when we were deciding who our next leader was going to be was whether or not that guy slept (I am being extremely polite here) with some other guy doesn’t exactly fill me with a whole lot of confidence for our supreme leadership.

There’s more. Anyone seen the headlines recently? Apparently, some female MP was caught with her pants (along with everything else) down. The reaction? The usual hullabaloo about her being unfit for leadership duties on the basis of her being immoral and so on and so forth. Look, first of all, some of the pictures were taken when she was asleep and ogling at pictures of naked women who are asleep is rather sick if you ask me. Second of all, the pictures were taken within the sanctity of either her own home or a hotel room, which are in both cases, private and not for mass consumption. Thirdly, I don’t know who is being the bigger elephant-behind. The elephant-behind who took the pictures in the first place and showed it to everyone, or the elephant behind who is using pictures that were privately taken from an unconfirmed source as proof of leadership ability. Fourth, check your history books, our leaders have done worse and gotten away with it. Hell, Clinton even got some in the oval office and still managed to do a better job than George. Fifth and finally, I’d be downright flattered if someone thought me attractive enough to take nude pictures of and vanity, as they say, gets the best of us so let’s just give it a rest.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the question of happiness, more specifically, “Am I happy?” There could be only one answer for me, as it should also be for you, which is yes. Despite it all, despite the future prospect of being jobless and destitute, despite facing the danger of possibly drowning (fabulously tanned) in my own front yard as a result of the rising seas, despite having elephant-behinds as “betters”, I still answer yes, I am deliriously happy. My reason? Simple, I have the greatest gift of all, life. And with life comes endless possibility.

Note: The author has managed to dodge national voting three times in a row and is currently unaffiliated with any political faction and will continue as such for the foreseeable future.